The Purge

Inspired by our recent visits to my mom's to help her move, Ron and I decided that we MUST get rid of some of our own stuff. This was accomplished in three ways: a garage sale, a major trip to the landfill, and a donation of items to charity. We have done these purges from time to time in the past, and once the trauma of selecting items to dispose of is over, it is so liberating. However, this is the biggest clearing away of stuff I think we've ever done.There was even stuff from the marriage before me, such as the delightful camper toilet from the attic. (I'm kind of a hotel- dwelling princess.) The garage sale was last Sunday, and even though I didn't make much money, I had a delightful assortment of characters come by.They bought some bulky items like blankets and comforters, so that was good. The landfill trip was this morning. We took the seats out of a huge van, the kind of van churches use for youth group trips. We loaded it from floor to ceiling with stuff, some which we had taken apart or broken up to make it fit. Finally, we took a lot of other stuff to a charity store.
This is always a somewhat emotional thing for me, but it was especially so this last time. The blankets and comforters were Ninja Turtle and Jurassic Park themed items that my son used when he was a little boy. We also got rid of the crib that he and two of my step-grandchildren had used, and I sold some of his old toys. There are still plenty left that I will try to sell in a spring garage sale, but I'm still having trouble dealing with the idea of selling the tin bucket full of Transformers. My son told me I could go ahead and try to sell them, although pieces might be missing from some of them. He loved those so much when he was little, though. To paraphrase Charlton Heston, someone will probably have to pry that bucket of Transformers out of my cold, dead hands.

Too tired; just writing so I don't forget my username

I am so freakin' tired. My brain needs a nap while my body does good things like go to the health club and exercise. Last Tuesday one class session ended and Thursday another one began. I spent the weekend grading papers (essays and research papers) and having a garage sale (netted $25.00...not retiring yet). I think the change in weather/seasons is exacerbating the fatigue, and it will be worse next week when Daylight Savings Time ends. I am extremely time and weather sensitive, so I picked a really good state in which to be born (Michigan). I had some fun last week, though. I wanted my son to have his picture taken for his senior yearbook at his university, so I had to drive his suit and tie down there. When my friend Donna heard I was going to Ann Arbor, she said she would enjoy coming along, which made it a lot more fun. After we dropped off the suit to my son and ran an errand at a pharmacy, we all went out to a vegetarian restaurant. After we dropped my son off, Donna dropped some homemade relish off at her friend's house, then took me on a nighttime tour of her hometown of Saline. I'm not really crazy about driving in unfamiliar places, so she drove. I was weirdly excited when we drove through Chelsea and saw the factory where they make Jiffy mixes (muffins, cakes, etc...very inexpensive). I remember now I spent one summer of my life in college living on Jiffy muffins. There's a big lit-up Jiffy box sign in the front of it. We also stopped in another small town and dropped off some clothes for her son (lots of dropping off of clothes for sons going on.). Anyway, it was a pleasant high point in a very busy week. Now, if I can arrange a nap for about 48 hours, I think I will have the energy to face another eight weeks of teaching.

Birth Week

A few years ago, birthdays between my husband and me started turning into "birth week," depending on what day of the week they fell, and instead of being king or queen for a day, we could pretty much get our way for about a week. This time, I think I got over a week, because my friend started 8 days before my birthday with a little party. It was especially nice because I was a little nervous that this was a "5" birthday. Some people in my age bracket dread birthdays ending in a "0" , but since I have been 25, my "5" birthdays have been the defining ones for me. I really enjoyed this one, though. My mother-in-law took me to lunch on Friday along with my two sisters-in-law, and my husband went too since he had a day off from work. On Saturday, which was my real birthday, we went out for breakfast. I got cards from my brother & sister-in-law, aunt and uncle, youngest stepson and his wife & kids, and my sister. My son called me, and today his card arrived, which took me by surprise, since he had called. My step-daughter-in-law and the kids stopped by and brought me a beautifully wrapped gift. The gift was great, but my favorite part of her gifts is the way she wraps them. This had beautiful hand-stamped paper, a beautiful ribbon and a beautifully tied bow, and a sunflower. Later on Saturday, we got all dressed up and went to a new restaurant in town. It is Cadillac-themed and fun in a themey way. I really want it to succeed because the owner built it in an older part of town that was kind of dilapidated before, and I really respect people who take that kind of risk, that, if it succeeds, can improve the community around it. The food was really good there, and we had a really nice time. I had duck with Chinese-style bbq sauce, sticky rice, and cucumber-daikon slaw. My husband and I shared one of the best pieces of chocolate cake I have ever had, and they didn't charge us for it. The next day, we went to breakfast again and drove up north for a color tour. We stopped for lunch at a horrible diner that didn't seem to know how to make a proper Reuben or club sandwich, which is really typical diner food. Go figure. The ride was nice, though, and we saw some really beautiful scenery around Cadillac. (the city, not the car or restaurant. I guess this was a Cadillac themed b-day.) This was also interspersed with some home maientenance projects, but even those were pleasant becuse of all the fun activities. The only weird thing is I haven't heard from my mom yet. Since I am her baby girl, maybe this "5" birthday is hard on her, or maybe she can't get through on the phone b/c I have been on the computer all the time. Or maybe she doesn't love me anymore. No, that can't be it. Who wouldn't love ME? My new plan, which I thought up last week, is to spend my 50th birthday at Oktoberfest in Munich, so I had better start planning/saving now.

Catching up

I actually wrote a lengthy blog entry a few days ago, but since I still have a telephone hook-up (yes, I am a dinosaur, but I've been assured by my spouse that we'll be getting DSL any day now) I was interrupted by a telephone call from the computer that calls substitute teachers. My stuff stayed on-screen for a while, but as I listened to the info in the call, all that I had just written disappeared. Quick replay of last week: Sunday: Helped my mom move. Was inspired to purge many of my own things collecting dust lest I face a nightmare like that in my own home. However, Mom is in new apartment. Mom seems to be happy. This is good. Monday: Went to bookstore to see Chuck Palahniuk, author of Fight Club, Choke, Diary, Lullaby, etc. Must admit I've only seen the movie Fight Club but did read Choke & part of Lullaby. Talked to Chuck and got book signed. Was one of three oldest people there, and felt very conspicuous without tatoos, piercings, interestingly styled hair. Chuck told an interesting story called "Guts", which basically involves three apparently true and increasingly grisly um...self-satisfaction mishap stories. The way Chuck told them, they were rather strangely funny and I wonder why I found them amusing. When I repeated them to my husband, who is a Palahniuk fan, he didn't think they were funny at all. Maybe it's my delivery. And of course, if I met these people, I probably wouldn't laugh. Okay, maybe I would...you have to know the stories. They will be in his book that is coming out in June, I think. Wednesday...had a mammogram. Also somewhat grisly and not really that funny, except during one of the "compressions" as they euphemistically call the crushing, squeezing pinch (but it only lasts for a few seconds and can save your life) I said,"F-----!" which I usually save for when I get to know people a little better and know whether or not they would be offended. I apologized to the technician who was very nice and said they were used to that kind of thing. It seems appropriate to do this kind of thing in the same week one sees Chuck Palahniuk. Friday I went to my friend's house for a "girl's night out" and she surprised me with a little early birthday party. She gave me a soapmaking book, also appropriate in the week I saw Chuck Palahniuk, and you will know what I am talking about if you saw or read Fight Club. So, that's last week,which was a little busier than most for me.

Passages, choices, and consequences

On Saturday, I went to a reaffirmation of wedding vows and subsequent celebration for a friend from college. She was married for the first time last summer (2003), but at that time they weren't ready to do the whole big ceremony and reception thing. Saturday's event was in their back yard under a big white tent, and there was a nice luncheon following the very sweet ceremony. I had not seen LuAnn for many years, so it was great just to see her (although I did get an e-mail from her when she got her Ph.D. about five years ago.) This sort of thing happening among old friends and acquaintances is what makes this a somewhat "nebulous age", per the title of my blog. I have friends my age who in the past few years have attempted to conceive their first child, while mine is in college. Also, because my husband is older than me and I have grown step-children, I'm a step-grandma of eight and recently found out I will be a step-great-grandma next spring (or is it great-step-grandma?) My friends who started the personal stuff (marriage, kids) later in life tend to have advanced degrees. I had a lot of family stuff settled early on but I don't have an advanced degree. It's something I've been thinking about a lot for many years, but the time, money, and opportunity have not all fallen in line together. These seem to be the kinds of choices many women have to make, and the waiting often seems to leave at least one of the options compromised. For example, it is harder to conceive children later in life. On the other hand, there is some awkwardness and opporunity cost getting the degree later. One has to consider whether the money (which is now a family, not just an individual issue) and the time is going to result in a satisfactory return on investment. Now, I am noticing some young women getting married at earlier ages. When I got married (at 21, almost 22) I was one of the only ones among my friends to get married that young. (I did have one friend who was married at 19). Since I am a happily married woman (23 years) I know I did the right thing. However, I wonder how it's going to play out now for the women who marry so young. My friend's wedding reception came just two weeks after her niece's, who married at age 22. This is a highly educated, accomplished family, and I'm seeing more and more of this. The trend of postponing marriage seems to be turning around. I think when businesses hire people they have to consider that life does not follow our preconceived timelines, and when they bemoan the "graying" of this or that profession which is experiencing shortages, they need to consider that there are a lot of "graying" people out there just ready to get started. They have the time, the experience and the motivation (for example, if we are even silly enough to count on having Social Security payments, we will have to work increasingly longer to collect our full benefits.) We need to rethink our traditional notions of who does what at what age.

Good Book

While looking through the bookstore for books for my ESL class book club, a little paperback caught my eye. It was the color of this template and had an upside-down die-cut dog on it. The name of the book is The Curious Incident of the Dog in the Night-Time by Mark Haddon. It's a wonderful book if you are curious about autism. It is a fiction story, though, a little mystery. I never put it down unless I had to attend to the duties of life. It's a pretty quick read and a very interesting journey inside the head of someone who views the world differently. Although I have chosen different books for our book club this time, I'm going to consider how we could use this one in one of our next sessions.

No changes, 2004-2005

I started substitute teaching again yesterday, after a year and a half break. I teach ESL reading and writing classes twice a week at a community college, and until the end of June I was tutoring three Korean children, first two, then three nights a week. So now, because I didn't work for actual money after June this past summer, and because September is a money-eating month, I got myself back on the sub list. I actually really love substitute teaching. I work in four different school districts, and it's interesting to observe the differences. One is in a university town, two are in McMansion filled suburbs (that still contain the older smaller homes, duplexes, etc. and one that is not in the city but near enough to the city that it has some of the best features of city and suburban schools...cultural diversity (also present in the university town schools), and a pretty decent quality of education, parental and student involvement, and so on. The one where I taught yesterday is my son's old high school, so except for a few building improvements, things seemed very familiar. I like each school district, but I wish there was more diversity in some of them. When people don't interact with each other on a daily basis, they can form some strange beliefs. The only thing I don't like, as in yesterday's case, is getting a call at 7:40 a.m. to take a job that started at 7:35 a.m., as I was in my pajamas breaking an egg for breakfast. I got there in time for second hour, then had to go to a work meeting immediately after work, then there was dinner to make at home, etc. Therefore, when I got home from my regular job today and there was a message for my husband reminding me that he had an appointment, and if I wanted to go to the health club I should meet him there around fiveish, my mind and body just rebelled at having to change my mental plan. I thought we would go after dinner. I'm feeling a little guilty about not wanting to drive by myself to the gym and back again by myself, the first trip in 4-5:30 traffic. That's pretty much rush hour around here, and my health club is on the east side, & I am on the west side. The bad thing about subbing is it makes one extremely averse to last minute changes in the other parts of life. The kids I teach are great, though. They're usually high school kids, and they're funny and weird and interesting. That makes the rest of it tolerable.

Evil cantaloupe

My husband (who, incidentally, is 13 years older than me, which will eventually become relevant due to the theme of my blog)has been being very conscientious about diet and exercise for the past six months or so, and has taken off about 40 pounds. When I came home from China, I had lost about 10 pounds, and he had lost his last 10 pounds while I was gone.He had both been doing an individualized workout plan, and also following advice from a book called The Perricone Prescription. Dr. Perricone is a dermatologist who has done a lot of work with inflammation, which has been being explored latelyas a trigger for heart disease and other illnesses. Long story short, while not following it to the letter (particularly not me) we have been using much of the advice. Because of his weight loss and exercise, he has been able to have the dose of his Lipitor reduced. While not really losing any more weight, I have been maintaining my China weight loss. Anyway, his last two blood tests showed high levels of potassium, about which his doctor was concerned, because apparently this can trigger heart problems. He asked about it, and she said if it got too high, they could treat it. He asked if diet would cause this, because he'd rather prevent it than treat it. She said yes, and when he asked what kinds of food had high levels of potassium, the first food she mentioned was cantaloupe. Well, per Perricone, we eat a lot of cantaloupe. Between the two of us, we go through one a day. So, it's six of one or half a dozen of the other. His new lifestyle has helped with one problem (cholesterol) but may have resulted in another (high levels of potassium), both triggers for heart problems. Of course, he can eat less cantaloupe, but this is illustrative of one of the frustrations about trying to take responsibility for one's health without over-reliance on medication.

I don't understand (but I want to)

I noticed after doing a profile, and taking a look at it, there are links to profiles of people who share the same interests, favorites, etc. And again, I noticed everyone who posts an age seems to be younger than me. Now, I don't think I put an age on my profile because it seems more consistent with the title of my blog, but I will say here that I am 44 years old, and will be 45 in October. So, are those of us in this age bracket not reporting our age,or do people my age just not do this kind of thing? Am I again poking around in a venue not meant for me? One of the things I have promised myself as I grow older is to remain curious about new things, and not to say, well, that doesn't mean anything to me or I have no interest in that. Of course, there are some things I really have no interest in, but I never want it to be just because it's new or different. One of the best, most useful things I learned in high school was from one of my art teachers. We were going to a gallery or something, and he told us we shouldn't say we didn't like something, because he said maybe we didn't know yet whether we did or didn't. Instead, he advised us to say, "I don't understand that." When I remember that, it serves me well in life.Thanks, Mr. Hoover.

Cool! I have a blog!

So, greetings to anyone who stumbled upon my humble blog.I was inspired to do this by a lovely young woman named Dana, with whom I shared a room for much of my recent trip to China. Dana is highly computer literate, but I am not. However, she assured me that this was an extremely user-friendly site. This summer it became so very clear to me that I am no longer even close to young, but I am not yet old. I am demographically, from the last few years of the so-called Baby Boomers, but I'm not really one. Someone actually tried to create a name for us, pointing out that during the Boomers' years of raising hell and changing society, most people in my age bracket were children. and, of course, we are not the so-called Generation X. I think the name we were given was Generation Jones, but I could be wrong. Not only that, but I, or we, are at an age where we certainly aren't young, but we're not old yet either. Some of us have small children, some of us have grown children, some no children, and some stepchildren...or some combination thereof. The frustration at this point is that there is very little intended for us in terms of fashion, music, entertainment, or really anything in the popular culture. Or maybe I'm missing something. I recently heard the guy who wrote and sang the song "Closing Time" on NPR. Maybe a lot of people know this, but I didn't. Several versions of a song are made for radio play...in the case of "Closing Time" the one for alternative had lots of tambourine and vocals. The one for top 40 featured a lot of electric guitar. The one which I suppose is marketed for my demographic (O.K., I know I just contradicted myself a little here), adult contemporary, toned down the electric guitar and had synthesizers. What the hell? So, I only ever heard it on what passed for an alternative station around these parts, but I had the feeling I wasn't supposed to be listening to it because of the nature of the ads, etc. I guess my point is, can I hear something that has not been dumbed down and still listen to it on a station intended for my demo? OK, so I guess that's my frustration. There are things intended for us, but the powers that be assume we love mediocrity. Hey, if anyone reads this, can you tell me how to start new paragraphs on here? I usually don't jam everything together in one paragraph.