Tuesday, October 21, 2008

This is not what I am supposed to be doing

I am supposed to be writing a paper (more of a project, really) that was due Friday at midnight. I can still turn it in, but I have been losing two points per day. The problem is, I don't really have any idea what I'm doing, and I know I should turn in something, but I feel like when I turn it in, it will become clear that I have very little idea of what much the first third of the class was about.

I have some writing and justification done, and it's not bad. I can write about stuff in a general, conceptual way. However, I have to have specifications, and justify each of those specifications. That is where I'm having trouble.

I didn't really blow off the paper last week. I had some physical issues, each one of them not particularly serious in itself, but one piled on top of another in a way that resulted in constant discomfort relieved by medication, and medication does not enhance the process of doing a project about stuff you don't really understand. On top of that, because of the unusual scheduling of the program in which I work, one session ended and another one started the very next day. Last week then, while I was sick, if that's what you could call it, I had to deal with giving finals, grading papers, calculating grades, etc.

I will do it, because my professor and my supervisor and my husband told me I should, but I hate, hate, hate this. I like to think of myself as a lifelong learner, but this project is making me feel punished, which is kind of weird.

I think this class, which I put off taking like I was supposed to do early in the program, has since become kind of a "weeding" class, and I have too much invested to allow that to happen. I believe I can do most of what is required in this class (although not with the success I have had in previous classes), but this particular project has become a real stumbling block. I think I should just consider it a typing/spreadsheet exercise, do the best with the content I can, and cull whatever points I can out of it. Some points are always better than no points.

1 comment:

Shanghai Laowai said...

Just remember....

You are good enough
You are smart enough
and Dog Gone It People Like you.

Seriously, just do the best you can, and if there is something that is really missing, then it is the professors job to explain better.