Having suffered a few bouts of insomnia in my life (a particularly severe one about 1994) I have over the years developed “sleep games,” mental activities to get my mind off whatever I’m obsessing about that’s keeping me awake.
A particular favorite is “Casting the movie of my life.” Of course, a movie of my life would itself be a swift cure for insomnia. I’ve always thought, though, I could be a good casting person, although most people in Hollywood never cast the books I’ve read the way I would.
The problem I’ve had lately is some of the casting involves people who don’t exist. When I began this game in high school, I didn’t have anybody to play me. I found the person a couple of years ago. The problem is, she’s a cartoon character: Peg Hill from King of the Hill. I don’t speak Spanish like Peg does (but if I did, I would probably spaeak it like she does.) However, I am a substitute teacher (and a damn fine one, like Peg, if I do say so myself. We both take it a little too seriously.) We both have similar, um…”fashion sense.” My son agrees that this is a pretty good choice.
And speaking of my son…a non-existent person would also have to play him. I told him that Johnny Depp and that kid from Napoleon Dynamite would somehow have to produce a child. While he initially went along with it, he later said something to the effect of, “Hey!”
My friend/stepdaughter-in law Shari would be played by Meg Ryan, a choice heartily approved by my stepson/her husband Jay, who eagerly agreed to portray himself under those circumstances.
The choice so far for my husband is that guy who plays Toby in West Wing, but that’s just a placeholder for now because most of the people I present that to say “Maybe” but are unenthusiastic. Mostly they just want to know who they are going to be portrayed by. I’m still working on it, though, because most of the people I had previously cast were folks I knew in high school, and my choices now obscure and forgotten TV sitcom actors.